The Accidents.
By Elliott Papworth
It was 1887, the day of the jubilee.
‘’Beautiful morning, wouldn’t you think Eddie?’’ I asked. Of course it was, it was beautiful: the sun was beaming, there was barely any clouds, when the sun touched you face you’d feel a tender warmth: it was the perfect day. But what ruined it, was my little idiot cousins face.
‘’Yeah, it is isn’t it?’’ he answered, I simply replied.
‘’not with your face beaming over me like Big Ben!’’ back then, I used to be short and plump-
‘You still are,’ said another voice.
‘’I can’t help being taller than you!’’ he shouted ‘’you’re as fat and short as a giant egg!’’
‘’OI!’’ I shouted ‘’we got a job to do anyway!’’ and so we started handing out drinks; the drinks that we served disappeared like magic!
After what seemed to be a few hours of serving drinks, like ale –for the adults-, lemonade and ginger beer –for children-, we were worn out. My feet were burning of pain.
‘’There’s one more pub left,’’ Eddie sighed
‘’Were?’’ I asked ‘’Black Boys ?’’
‘’yeah, - wait, no!’’ Eddie started to wear an angry face ‘’I mean the Unicorn!’’ we’d already been to 5 pubs: The Swan, The Feathers, Red Lion, Cross Keys and The New Inn. We left to go to The Unicorn after a short recovery to retrieve the final drinks.
‘’Leave them outside, Eddie!’’ I called, Edward came running in, he almost hit his head, ‘’time to pay, Eddie,’’ he handed him his money.
‘’Not enough,’’ demanded the Bar Tender, ‘’you are 6 shillings short.’’ I looked at Edwards pale face, I could have sworn he was albino.
‘’Alright, I’ll pay too,’’ I sighed and I muttered ‘’this job doesn’t pay enough.’’, all of a sudden, the ground began to vibrate and we knew exactly what it was…
‘’The barrels!’’ exclaimed Eddie ‘’what are we gonna do?’’ he started to panic, he looked very worried and stressed.
‘’Well don’t just stand there!’’ I called, ’’go after them!’’ I shoved him in the direction of the door, and he started to run down the streets at full speed, swinging his arms back and forth whilst he ran.
‘’What are you still doin’ down here,’’ (he wore a confused and angry expression on his face)’’go after him and help him!’’ he commanded.
‘’I don’t need to,’’ I commented, ‘’I got him.’’ I nodded towards Eddie in a smug expression, but that seemed to make him angrier.
‘’I don’t care!’’ he bellowed, ‘’go and help him!’’ he pointed towards the door, ‘’go!’’ I went running after Eddie, my short legs feeling the pain whilst I ran down the streets after the barrels and Eddie.
‘’Wait for me!’’ I called, ‘’I can’t keep up at this speed!’’ I sprinted as fast as my tubby legs could go, but Eddie was too fast for me.
After what felt like forty-five whole minutes of searching for lost barrels, we then handed out more drinks whilst family and friends talked and joked as the jubilee went on.
The festival went on through activities and fun, and now it was time for the firework display. Me and Eddie made sure everything was safe (including the crowd) and then the fireworks were lit, after that colour rained from the sky.
‘’My trousers feel really warm,’’ I said, not knowing about anything that would happen next. ’’What’s so funny?’’(I sniff the air around me)’’I smell burning, must be the bonfire,’’ Eddie started to chuckle quietly, ‘’more like bumfire,’’ I laugh, not realizing what he said until… I slide my head slowly towards Eddie, my eyes widening, ‘’YOU WHAT!’’.
‘’That’s enough,’’ concluded Charles, ‘’there’s a lot of rude humour ahead,’’ he now looked old and frail, the two girls kissed him goodnight.
‘’Oh and one more thing,’’ he added hastily, ‘’stay away from fires,’’ the children giggled and then ran upstairs.
‘’Cost enough for the second time it happened,’’ said an old version of Edward, ‘’I’m not paying for anymore surgeries, so you should take your own advice and stay away from fires,’’ Charles smiled, ‘’It’s a habit.’’
It was 1887, the day of the jubilee.
‘’Beautiful morning, wouldn’t you think Eddie?’’ I asked. Of course it was, it was beautiful: the sun was beaming, there was barely any clouds, when the sun touched you face you’d feel a tender warmth: it was the perfect day. But what ruined it, was my little idiot cousins face.
‘’Yeah, it is isn’t it?’’ he answered, I simply replied.
‘’not with your face beaming over me like Big Ben!’’ back then, I used to be short and plump-
‘You still are,’ said another voice.
‘’I can’t help being taller than you!’’ he shouted ‘’you’re as fat and short as a giant egg!’’
‘’OI!’’ I shouted ‘’we got a job to do anyway!’’ and so we started handing out drinks; the drinks that we served disappeared like magic!
After what seemed to be a few hours of serving drinks, like ale –for the adults-, lemonade and ginger beer –for children-, we were worn out. My feet were burning of pain.
‘’There’s one more pub left,’’ Eddie sighed
‘’Were?’’ I asked ‘’Black Boys ?’’
‘’yeah, - wait, no!’’ Eddie started to wear an angry face ‘’I mean the Unicorn!’’ we’d already been to 5 pubs: The Swan, The Feathers, Red Lion, Cross Keys and The New Inn. We left to go to The Unicorn after a short recovery to retrieve the final drinks.
‘’Leave them outside, Eddie!’’ I called, Edward came running in, he almost hit his head, ‘’time to pay, Eddie,’’ he handed him his money.
‘’Not enough,’’ demanded the Bar Tender, ‘’you are 6 shillings short.’’ I looked at Edwards pale face, I could have sworn he was albino.
‘’Alright, I’ll pay too,’’ I sighed and I muttered ‘’this job doesn’t pay enough.’’, all of a sudden, the ground began to vibrate and we knew exactly what it was…
‘’The barrels!’’ exclaimed Eddie ‘’what are we gonna do?’’ he started to panic, he looked very worried and stressed.
‘’Well don’t just stand there!’’ I called, ’’go after them!’’ I shoved him in the direction of the door, and he started to run down the streets at full speed, swinging his arms back and forth whilst he ran.
‘’What are you still doin’ down here,’’ (he wore a confused and angry expression on his face)’’go after him and help him!’’ he commanded.
‘’I don’t need to,’’ I commented, ‘’I got him.’’ I nodded towards Eddie in a smug expression, but that seemed to make him angrier.
‘’I don’t care!’’ he bellowed, ‘’go and help him!’’ he pointed towards the door, ‘’go!’’ I went running after Eddie, my short legs feeling the pain whilst I ran down the streets after the barrels and Eddie.
‘’Wait for me!’’ I called, ‘’I can’t keep up at this speed!’’ I sprinted as fast as my tubby legs could go, but Eddie was too fast for me.
After what felt like forty-five whole minutes of searching for lost barrels, we then handed out more drinks whilst family and friends talked and joked as the jubilee went on.
The festival went on through activities and fun, and now it was time for the firework display. Me and Eddie made sure everything was safe (including the crowd) and then the fireworks were lit, after that colour rained from the sky.
‘’My trousers feel really warm,’’ I said, not knowing about anything that would happen next. ’’What’s so funny?’’(I sniff the air around me)’’I smell burning, must be the bonfire,’’ Eddie started to chuckle quietly, ‘’more like bumfire,’’ I laugh, not realizing what he said until… I slide my head slowly towards Eddie, my eyes widening, ‘’YOU WHAT!’’.
‘’That’s enough,’’ concluded Charles, ‘’there’s a lot of rude humour ahead,’’ he now looked old and frail, the two girls kissed him goodnight.
‘’Oh and one more thing,’’ he added hastily, ‘’stay away from fires,’’ the children giggled and then ran upstairs.
‘’Cost enough for the second time it happened,’’ said an old version of Edward, ‘’I’m not paying for anymore surgeries, so you should take your own advice and stay away from fires,’’ Charles smiled, ‘’It’s a habit.’’